No Invitation issued

Why is it that when something is said to a woman it sticks to them? Why is it that when you are told something, it impacts your life greatly? Why is it that when these words are then retracted that we just can't let go of them and the effect they had/have on us?

I am really struggling at present. No my marriage is not happening. And why? Why is it that it is still a train wreck?

Because my husband said something to me that changed my life.

He told me that he was still in love with the mistress After months of living a life without order, he finally told me that he was still in love with her and I let him go. The relief I felt was amazing. I let him go. In my heart and my head I let my marriage and my husband fly free.

I realise that I never stopped loving him but for some reason it is different now. I struggle everyday because of those words that he said to me. I released him from me, and at the same time released myself from him.

I can honestly say that after he told me that he still loved her, that I started to heal. I started to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, and put them back into some form of order, with the view that it would never include him again.

Why is it that when I released him he realised that he wanted his marriage to work? Why is it he finally came back emotionally and physically after I let him go? Why is it that I am struggling with this?

I didn't ask him to come back. I didn't issue an invitation for him back inot my life. I accepted that he did not want a life with me and I moved forward.

That day that he told me those words I moved forward. And now I find him back in my life and yet I am so unsure as to whether or not I want him in my life.

My heart has hardened to him. I don't know if it is because of the fact that I let him go, or if it is because I have my guard up so high for fear of being hurt again. Will this ever come down?

celine dion - to love you more