Things don't change
It is amazing how 6 small words can have such a profound impact on one's life.
I came across this gorgeous card recently and just had to purchase it. I am going to get it framed and hang it on my wall.
Looking back I can see how both my husband and I have changed. I can also see how neither of us were prepared to change to suit each others individual needs, and hence the problems within our marriage began.
I changed into a very frustrated and angry woman due to constantly being hurt and let down by my husband.
He changed because of the angry and bitter woman that I had become due to his treatment of me.
All I ever wanted was to feel loved and desired. And at the end of the day, I now realise that is all my husband wanted too.
But instead of changing and adapting to suit each others needs, we pushed each other away. Things did not change in our marriage, but we both certainly did.
We were still the same two people that fell madly in love with each other.
We were still the same two people that adored the ground that the other walked upon.
We were still the same two people that stimulated each other both mentally and emotionally, and not to mention sexually ;-) !!!
And so where did those two people go? They changed!
They changed into very frustrated and hurt people and instead of addressing the issues that resulted in their change of behaviour, they continued to choose a path of destructive behaviour continually hurting the very person they chose to spend their entire life with.
And have I changed since Charlie told me of his affair?
Definately!
I have become a much stronger person. I have learnt alot about myself, about marriage and also about my husband.
I actually read through some of the early pieces that I had written on my previous blog and can so easily see the strength I have gathered over the last 6 months.
I have decided to bring them out of the archives and share them with you again. I have set up another blog and will slowly start to bring them back. I have left the publishing date the same as the original date they were written.
I am no longer "Totally Shattered", but now consider myself to be "Not Totally Shattered".
Keep checking back into this blog and enjoy the journey with me, I will put up a link so you can check back in and travel the road with me.
I think you will be surprised at how much I have learnt and grown during this rollercoaster ride through infidelity.
posted by kissmekate at 10:08 pm
6 Comments:
Good for you! Untill you fully know what went wrong, you can't *fix* the problem.
Keep going!
Like a rose tree the branches that were hacked have grown back stronger than ever and before soon you will be in bloom...
the lessons we learn from pain are the ones that make us the strongest
from Superman
It's good that you still have them to look back on. When things seem impossible and you are worn from all the effort, look back and see how far you've already come, feed off of the progress.
frannie it is easier to fix when you know what the problem is. The problem I now face is I don't know whether or not I want to fix it.
lara - only these branches have more thorns now. I am sure my husband wants the old me back. But that person is gone and will no longer put up with half the shit that I did. Only problem now is that I have set the precedent over the past 8 years. Is that able to be changed cause I simply ain't interested in having the same as the previous 8 years.
anon- I am strong. I have learnt a hell of a lot and my journey has only just begun.
~~d~~ - when I read them the other night I am amazed at how I have changed! It has been exponential growth!
Whoa, this is a good blog I have stumbled upon. You are a very strong woman.
THink I found you from Frannie and her post about husbands getting snipped.
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