The bubbles have burst
My marriage used to be like a top shelf bottle of champagne. It was always sweet andbubbly, divine to taste, leaving you with a wonderful delirious feeling with every cold mouthful on your tongue. Every delicious sip would leave you with spine chilling tingles. The bubbles would rise to the top easily and behind it would flow a smooth stream of delicate bubbles, floating to the top before bursting with delight.
The bottle was gorgeous too, and as the suns golden rays shone down on the bottle, streams of colourful light reflected all around it. Sure it had its slight imperfections and as the sun cast its shadow, the colourful rays of light lost there lustre. But there were never any major cracks within that bottle. It was always rock solid, water tight.
But it only took one cork screw to uncork the tight seal. And somehow that cork screw broke the beautiful bottle into pieces. It shattered the bottle, shards of glass exploded everywhere.
And now the sweet and precious wine has become affected by the exposure.The flavour now lacks something. It just isn't the same. It doesn't sparkle. It doesn't bubble. It doesn't taste sweet and fruity. An occasional bubble rises to the top of the bottle, but overall it is flat and has sour undertones.
My marriage is in pieces and no matter how I try to put the pieces back together they never seem to fit. It doesn't matter how Charlie tweaks the pieces trying to make them fit together perfectly, there are always gaps, gaps filled with hurt and anger, mistrust and sceptisism, doubt and fear.There will always be visible gaps in the bottle now. There will always be some form of hurt and anger, mistrust and sceptism, doubt and fear.
I don't know that the pieces will ever fit well enough to hold it together. I don't know that I want to keep picking up the pieces. I don't know that I even want to keep filing the sharp edges off the pieces. I don't know that I want to turn the pieces around to make them fit better.
Because at the end of the day there will always be gaps between the pieces and at the moment all I see is the pile of rubble lying on the floor in front of me, the pieces that used to be my marriage.
posted by kissmekate at 10:02 pm
12 Comments:
Kate, Its time for you to really start helping him put those pieces back together.
Don't try to make it perfect like the original bottle. But build it strong enough so that it can last.
What a sad post! I just wish that there was something that can be done or something to take that will make all the pain go away.
Kate, you have someone who's showing you that he loves you. I think that it must be painful for him to see you in so much pain.
I agree with Mike - your marriage will never be the same, but it can become stronger, of that I'm sure. Take it one day at a time.
Maybe you can build a new, bigger and better bottle - Try to remember all the good flavors of the old bottle and put them in the new. Toss out the spoiled/rotten, bitter parts so they don't ruin the fresh batch of today.
It can't be easy to be in your shoes, but I do believe you and he can work this out.
Have you been to Ikea Kate?
I feel where you are, I wish the cork had never loosened but it did, everyones right though, it will never be exactly the same, or atleast not right now but I think you guys can build a new bottle with new wine that will once again be sweet to both your lips. I don't know how one mentally moves past this block when mending a union, for the most part most of us never get that chance. Give it all you have Kate and if then thats not enough you will know in time. Hugssss
I sympathise, I know exactly what you are going through.
Its like, the simple thing to do is just to walk away, because is it ever worth it to go through all this emotions constantly?
Yet, perhaps the fact that you've stayed this long is a sign...Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a new day.
With time my dear friend, just like that perfect bottle of wine, it will get better with time. It will never be what it used to be, but one day it will be even better. I do admire your strength and your courage not many would have been able to do what you have done.
I love the way you worded this post, there is so much passion and honesty it put tears in my eyes.
Hope you have a good weekend.
Great analogy, Kate. I know exactly how you feel. I wonder if I'll always look at K and think about what happened. I, too, would like my bottle to be perfect again, but the truth is it wasn't quite perfect anyway, which is why we're in this mess, so all we can hope for is that we can make a stronger bottle, which holds more love and affection and respect than the old one.
Ribbet Ribbet ;-)
Oh Lara,
That was very arrogant of you!
HeHeHe!
Thanks for your kind words everyone.
Kate is struggling at the moment. I will try and be back to my bright and bubbly self in a few days.
In the meantime I might drink a bottle or two!
He has proven to be a puzzle and I have tried in earnest to work him out.....but he has driven me to the drink.
*****Hiccup*****
Okay ...then may i suggest a big tube of oxy ten LOL
Ah yes, men are unfathomable creatures indeed...and they say we women are complicated, don't they...
*raises a glass to kissmekate and joins in with the wine bingeing*
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